two things about my town

Thing one about where I live, there is a lot of skin in the news today. Like this. And this. Okay, so none of that actually happened in my town, but I’ll bet 90% of the people who live in those towns will say they live right in Philadelphia if they were away from home and someone asked. Isn’t that weird how people do that? They have some icky little smalltown life but then they lie about where they actually live when it’s go-time. What is up?

Thing two about where I live is that we get a lot of second rate celebrities who walk around thinking we should kiss their asses but everyone ignores them and they look so confused. It’s so cute. And by second rate celebrities, of course I mean to include hugely major political figures and B-movie stars and sports people and local personalities and stuff.

One time I stuck my finger in Mel Gibson’s Shepard’s Pie and dipped a french fry in Gwyneth Paltrow’s honey mustard.

I’m passive aggressive.

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